How have you coped in the past when someone has told you they were dying from a disease?

Question

I ran into a girlfriend I have not seen in years and she told me she was dying of Aids. A disease she caught from unprotected sex. I'm in tears for her. I took the time to call to find out more and discovered that the number one way to catch Aids now is through an unprotected partner who has not disclosed their status.

Answer 1

Hi Kat-



I am sorry about your friend. I to lost a friend from Aids. it is very hard to watch someone you know and care about go through all of that.. However you have to make the choice as to how far you are willing to go with them in that road... We do not know how long we are to live, and what unexpected miracles can happen in ones life...All I did was pray, and talk to him.. not about or at him..I listened, and I cried with him...I was his friend.....This is what she will need from you..Your friendship.....



You both are in my thoughts..Please feel free to email..Also, there are HUNDREDS of support groups for people that have friends and loved ones suffering with Aids..give them a shot as well..... Be informed........

Answer 2

I have had a few special people in my life destroyed by this disease, and they got HIV the same way; by having unprotected sex. Here is my advice for coping with the disease: Take an active part in making her days on earth more special, by helping her make a connection with God if she desires, by just visiting her and letting you know that you care, and if you can ease any burden she has because of the disease (finance, needing errands run or anemities while she is in the hospital or sick at home, etc.), do what you can. Another positive thing you can do is to help others become aware of the disease by contributing and/or volunteering to the aids cause. If you could prevent even one person from contracting this deadly disease, her life would mean something more than being another statistic. Use the sorrow of one to prevent the sorrow of many. Check out a few links I have posted below........

Answer 3

I know it's hard for you to deal with a situation like this, but right now she needs support and not tears from you. you have to make sure that she knows you are not judgmental in anyway and you will do anything to help. You also have to remember being helpful should be used the same way as you did before you found out about her condition. Like most people that are dying, they don't want sympathy or someone smothering them with emotions. Some want answers that you can never answer, some want to start over which can never happen but most want a friend that can be there as needed and you can do that.

Both you and your friend have to remember that the history of yesterday cannot be changed, the history of tomorrow is not known so all that matters is what you are given today. Make the most of what you have today.

Randy Scott

Answer 4

troyed by this disease, and they got HIV the same way; by having unprotected sex. Here is my advice for coping with the disease: Take an active part in making her days on earth more special, by helping her make a connection with God if she desires, by just visiting her and letting you know that you care, and if you can ease any burden she has because of the disease (finance, needing errands run or anemities while she is in the hospital or sick at home, etc.), do what you can. Another positive thing you can do is to help others become aware of the disease by contributing and/or volunteering to the aids cause. If you could prevent even one person from contracting this deadly disease, her life would mean something more than being another statistic. Use the sorrow of one to prevent the sor

Answer 5

So sad! :(



Hearing about smoeone's death is not so frightful and troubling as when you know that someone is dying of some disease and you can but just see that person die!



Some months ago I heard from my friend that she had been suffering from Colon Cancer and after some days her sister informed me that she was in hospital and they were waiting for God to give her place in His Kingdom.





I cried! Tears were rolling dow my face when I was thinking of her condition and was so sad that I had never even seen her. I prayed to God - for that was all I could do. We are from different countries. Well, I met my friend online when I was chatting some 16 or 18 months ago.



Whenever I saw her sister's e-mail for me I got frightened if the message was a sad one. :( Well, some weeks ago I heard from my friend and she told me that she was getting better now. That was a gret relief! I saw her and it was nice to have seen her and then I wished that I would not like to hear anything about her illness again because I can't eally live with such frightening thoughts. :(



I can well understand your situation because I have been through it before.



So regrettable and sad it is that a man just has sex with a woman for his lust-satisfation and thinks that woman is a mere means of sex and re-production only.



The man, who put your friend's life in danger and now she is dying, was indeed a bastard and beast and not any human being in the least!

Answer 6

Well it is never easy to deal with death and dying. There is only the comforyt that you recieve from being a good friend and caring for this person. I would never tell anyone to act in any way that you are not comfortable with. The realization that you have a friend that is sick and dying, hurts. I am gonna tell you from personal experiance that it is best to talk with her. I was there with my mom when she died. I took care of her and listened to her concerns and worries. Then I talked to other friends who have been thru the same thing. Remember it is okay to be bothered by this and eventhough you know that some day will be your last with her. Don't be a fraid to live in the here and now cause she is gone not only will you have good times to remember. You will know in you heart that you were there for this person and you made a difference. Talk to God about the way you are feeling. Or talk to someone you are close to. It will never be an easy road to go down, but if you do it with your head held high and know you did the best for her. That in itself will help you some in dealing with the issue at hand. I know this is long but remember---Never, never just keep it to yourself, ask for help when and if you need it . Even if it is just a hug from someone you love. It makes everything better.

Answer 7

Wow, you've had a shock! So first, there's the shock part to get over. Someone you know is dying. (Guess what? Everyone you know will die! We're all dying...) You can look at this seemingly random reunion as a burden (now you're bummed out, depressed, sad) or you can look at it as a gift! You choose.



Here's the part that's a gift - you KNOW you have a limited time with this person, so you make the most of it. You help her make the most of the life she has left! You support, you laugh, you cry, you LIVE. You can also pray, if you believe in God, or even if you don't! Sharing yourself, sharing her fears and griefs, you both will become more human.



Animals don't grieve, or care, or mourn or worry about how to make another animal feel happy. They don't wonder about the big questions of life and death and what comes next. You do. You care. Be there for your friend (as much as she wants you.) Don't be afraid to be human with her.



Burden, bummer, or gift. You decide. I believe you ran into this friend for a reason. Maybe she needs you. Or maybe YOU need HER.

Answer 8

Sooner or later I tell them every cure I've ever heard of for their condition, but they usually smile sweetly, suffer whatever is convenient for their family and their doctors and then die. But some actually listen and live. The following responses to AIDS are so weird that your friend would probably rather die than try one, but here are two that have been know to work:



1) A radically healthy lifestyle. As you know, it's not AIDS that kills you. AIDS disables your immune system so other things can kill you. Here's the plan: don't get those other things!



Remember the famous basketball player that tested positive a number of years ago but later recovered? In his family,I understand, are some Seventh-day Adventists. It's a part of their religion to be health fanatics, so they have exceptional longevity. If I had AIDS, I'd find the most conservative Seventh-day Adventist I could find, ask their advice, and make whatever ridiculous lifestyle changes they suggest. That is, if I decided to live no matter what my friends say.



2) The "do-it-yourself" serum. It can't be sold, of course, so you can't buy it unless you know somebody who's got it. Here's how you make your own:



Get a goat. (See, I knew you weren't going to like this.) Now we're going to generate some antibodies in the time-honored tradition of Louis Pasteur. This has only been known to work using goats, so don't be gambling your life with dogs, cats, monkeys or mice unless you really think you have time to fail.



Draw some AIDs-infected blood and inject it into the blood stream of the goat. (I'd work with two goats, just in case.) Wait two months and the goats will have produced antibodies compatible to humans.



At this point some people draw blood from their goat, condense what they need with a centrifuge, and inject the antibodies into the human's boodstream. But the special blood also has been known to work whole, "as is," no centrifuge. A person just needs enough "starter" antibodies in their bloodstream to get their own going.



Don't kill that goat! (Your friends might need it!) And don't get caught sellingl either this information or your antibody serum or the FDA will make you wish you had already died!

Answer 9

Well, you have gotten a lot of good advice here about what you should do for her. But you didn't say whether this is a friend you can stay in close contact with. Does she live in the same town as you? Are you close enough that she would want you to spend a lot of time with her? Does she have family to help? These are questions to think about to.



If she is not that close of a friend, and you can't be with her a lot, then you can still show support by callling and sending cards, etc. I had two friends who were dying but lived states away. I could only call and talk. And I sent thinking of you cards. It's hard to do long distance, but can be done.



If you can spend time with her, and she wants you to, then do as others have said. Do things with her, cry with her if she needs it. Let her set the pace--talk about it if she wants to. She may want to talk about it a lot. Just let her know you are there for her.



AIDS is not as easy to catch as some people think. You will not get it from hugs.



Coping with a death of any kind is so hard. Sometimes going to a grief support group helps. Be good to yourself and in time you will feel better. If you are a religious person, you can pray. If not, that's okay, too. Just be yourself.



One of the last things my son said to me before he died was, "Life isn't fair, Mom." And it isn't. And my friend who was dying of cancer told me as we were crying about it was, "Just remember, love never dies."

Answer 10

Well for your own safety don't get too close. Doctors tell you one thing and practice another. It's a lot easier than you are told to catch.



I had My Grandmother, Father, his sister, and two brothers to die with cancer. You live one day at a time, doing for them what you can. You visit as much as you can. But remember the risk in your case is huge.

Go riding or walking with her if she can handle the exercise. Maybe a movie or the eatery.

I once live on the beach and needles, old clothes, arm bands, washed up on the sand. A hospital contracted with a company to distroy by burning all hazerous material such as needles. The ship employees instead saved money and dumped them into the Gulf complete with needles filled blood, arm bracets with the pateints names on them , used towels, and papers ect. soem of these teseted postive for the aids virsus after being in the water two weeks.

So the risk is much higher than most medical people will admit.



It would benice if she was able to go to students and give the low down on unprotected sex.



Sorry about your friend

There is really not alot you can do for her , but thanks for trying

Answer 11

I haven't had this experience because everyone I know has simply dropped dead quickly.



But, I do know that the most important thing in tough situations is to be there for the person who is the one suffering the most which in this case is your girlfriend. Many caregivers put their emotional life on the back burner and deal with themselves later. Learning about death and dying is an important part of life.



Figure out what you can give to your friend, how much time, money, emotional availability, energy etc and offer what you have. If she isn't the taker type, tell her that she would be doing you a favor to let you do these things for her.

Answer 12

Its very sad and truly difficult. I know this may sound a bit cruel, but at least she's more of a distant friend. I've had distant friends and immediate family members diagnosed with terminal diseases and trust me, the only thing you can do is try and make the time less painful for them. Do whatever you can to help. When people receive this kind of news, they go through different emotional phases. Denial, hurt, anger, hopelessness. You can try and make these hopeless times more fruitful if you'd like. If you're truly able to invest the time and effort. Help her make a list of goals, and help her begin to achieve those. Whether its finding a cure, or sky-diving. Who knows. Just be a good friend.

Answer 13

Since you haven't seen her in years, I'm wondering if you expect to see more of her now that you know she's ill. I've taken care of patients that knew they were dying. I spent as much time as they wanted listening to them and helping their family deal with the problem. AIDS is a death sentence and it is a disease that most often is able to be avoided by not sleeping around, not using illegal drugs, and living a morally upright life. There are exceptions (by infected blood transfusions) but this is not likely with today's careful testing. Listen to her, pray with her, help her in any way you can if you wish. But there's a bigger thing you can do. TELL PEOPLE TO STOP DOING THOSE THINGS that make them a target for this disease.

Answer 14

I haven't had to deal with the issue of a close person dying since I was a young girl and I didn't handle it very well.



If you are having trouble coping you could separate yourself from her now. Or you could stick around by her to help her through the illness. Even though she has AIDS doesn't mean she is going to die immediately. You don't have to be with her all the time, but just check up on her or call occasionally.



Try to make her feel as comfortable as possible and don't blame or judge her. Unfortunately many people have unprotected sex, but it doesn't mean they are sleazy. She could have just trusted someone in her need to feel loved.



She may be alienated now because people fear she is contagious. Please don't treat her like she has leprosy. I had a client who had AIDS and I made sure I shook his hand and treated him like anyone else.

Answer 15

Wow, I feel for you and your friend. Unfortunately we all have to suffer while people continuously have un protected sex or don't disclose thier status. Take a lesson. But in the mean time, my grandmother has heart disease. While not infectious, it slowly continues to disable her. I love her like a mother. All I can do is call her often and check in with her, visit, send flowers for no reason etc. I want her to know that even if she won't be around in the near future, she will be remembered in very loving ways. I suppose there is not true comfort for your friend. But let her know that their is a purpose for each life lost. Join an AIDS walk or another AIDS orginization in her name and let her know that you will continue to help the AIDS effort. So she won't die in vein. Good luck, sweetie.

Answer 16

I work in a critical care hospital. I deal with people on a daily basis that are dying from various diseases.



It is a hard situation and the best way to cope with it is to realize how precious life is. Make amends with those in your past, treat your family and friends with love and compassion. Act in your daily life the way that you would act if you knew you would be in her shoes with little time left.



Life is short and life is precious. Treat it as such. Do not live with regrets, choose your path and follow your dreams and hold strongly to your morals and values.



Help your friend, talk with her, see if you can help her, ask her what you can do. Go out of your way to make her world a positive and bright one.

Answer 17

OYE: I never had to deal with an STD death, but I've dealt with cancer death. When my mom told me she was dying, I thought I would die the very instant she took her last breath too because we were best friends. I dont know how to explain how much I loved her in words, but she was amazing. I think the most important thing is to realize that they are going to a better place, and when she leaves this world, you should realize that you will see her again. Its only a matter of time. Even if there is no heaven, Id rather be nothing like my friends who have passed, than something without them. Good luck

Answer 18

This is a toughie. Nothing bothers me more then seeing a young person lose there life. I am living with this situation right now. My husband of 38 Yrs is terminally ill with cancer. Not much can be done. At this point he has survived over a yr. In the beginning we were all in shock of course. But he finally told me what he wanted. It was such a simple request. He said he didn't want to spend what time he had left bitching & complaining. He want to live it just as we had lived all those Yrs. I thought that out .

Answer 19

First of all, I'm sorry to hear this, I can understand how traumatic it must be for both of you. I am a health care professional and worked for many years with HIV+ patients. Death itself is always hard but the most important thing is to simply be there for her. This is a god opportunity for both to learn by asking questions and being honest and open. I was always struck by the importance the person with HIV held for talking about their condition and resolving regrets. It is we who are left behind that find the topic difficult to discuss. I would suggest trying to place yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if you had a terminal illness? What would be important to you? Would you like to/ be able to make sure in the time you had that those who were important to you knew it? As for the physical symptoms and how they look, remember that this is ONLY the body. The person inside is still your friend, nothing has changed in that respect. I hope you both can come to terms with this and wish you both all the best in facing up to this difficult situation.

Answer 20

You came to the right place for support. So many people who really care. :)

My experience has gone from making one very short visit to tell myself & others I did the right thing (never worked) to giving more than my all ( and burned me ot ) to doing the best I could do are letting that be enough.

I had to learn how to deal with it a little at a time. I learned that no matter how little I did, it was enough. Better to swallow that lump of fear and do something than to hesitate and feel guilt. My friends appreciate what I do more than I do. They are not the disease to be feared; they are the friend who is even more scared Listen to them, and the fear committee in my head goes away. Do the little things - a hug or kiss, stroking a hand, crying with them, letting quiet time be OK to relax to. Be real, rather than faking brave; they can see right through it. Discover that by being there for them, they are also helping you.



And most important. Don't keep going way past your own limits out of guilt; If you do not take care of yourself and stop within your limits, you will burn out and be no help for either of you . Talk with others about what you are going through helps them go through what they are.

One of my best memories with my father was to be sitting beside him as he died. It was very peaceful. He just slowly slipped away, in his own house in his sleep. It was a very spiritual I will never forget.



And the list goes on. Bottom line. Do your best to relax around them and be yourself. Take the risk, even to crack the sick jokes. The rest falls into place. My prayers are with you both. AND, today you helped me. I hope someone like you will be there for me when I really need them. Thank you.

Answer 21

Are you wanting to know how I have coped with someone who was dying from any disease or dying from AIDS! I have not had friends or family members with AIDS, but I have had family members who are and have passed because of cancer. How I deal with it is I wish for the best. Sometimes the best, especially with this disease, is to go, so they no longer have to suffer. I feel bad about about your friend, but hopefully you and others who know her have learned from this. We don't hear about this disease, as much as we should, anymore! Maybe you, your friend, and other friends let it be known that it is still out there. Who knows, that might be the reason met up with her after so long ago!

Answer 22

First off, educate yourself on this disease. You can still be her friend and have daily contact with her if you know how to go about it, what to be cautious of.



Be her friend!!! I am sure that due to the lack of knowledge, even at this point, people are too afraid to be close to her and have wondered off, leaving her alone in her greatest time of need. Don't be afraid to cry for her and with her.



Ask her what her wishes are, maybe things that she has wanted to do and has not had the chance to do yet. If it is feasible, help her do it, or come up with a close second. If she wants to go to Hawaii, but you cant afford it, bring Hawaii to her. Just remember that she has to suffer daily, but she is still alive, and treat her as such.



You can grieve for her, but also celebrate her while she is here. She made a mistake, but who doesn't.



God bless her and you as well.

Answer 23

My father died from cancer. It was a long dragged-out process.



The best advice I could give someone is that time with that person is now short, and every second you spend away from that person is time you will never get again. Of course, that is the fact with all those we love. But, it is more definite and defined for those diagnosed with a disease. Don't let a day, hour or minute go by without insuring you've told your friend all that you need to share....experience all you need to experience. When you leave her each time, insure that if she is to leave this world....right there...right then....you two...both...would be at peace knowing that you shared all you could...said all that was to be said....and smiled all the smiles that could be made.



She needs you. Now more than ever.

Answer 24

Oh, my heart goes out to you, but you know we are all dying...some just know a little closer to the date and can get their ducks in a row. I wish I would have known when my Mom was going to leave this world, I would have gotten to say good-bye. You need to give her all the attention she needs, without being scared. She will know you are, but ,if you are strong, she will have more strength will to go on and not be scared herself. Show her what a real friend is all about. UNCONDITIONAL! She will be at your side, long after she is gone, for showing her strength while she was on earth. Be there for her, hold her hand, let her cry and lend an ear. Do errands for her. Read passages out of the bible. Help her in any way you can. The big GUY up stairs will not let that go un~noticed. You will gain wings and one day be reunited with your friend. Remember...Only the good die young, for God needs them too! Bless you in all your efforts! Hang in there.

Answer 25

Don't do what I did the first time. I was intimidated and afraid of bothering her or tiring her out, and so didn't spend the time with her that we could have had. It turned out that she was hurt that I wasn't there. Since then, I've learned to reach out to someone who is dying. They are just like you and me, only they have a better idea about how short life is. For all you know,an accident could happen and you could die today or tomorrow. You need to realize that dying is what happens to all of us sooner or later, and that it just the next step. Be with your friend. Support her, she's going to need a lot of help with daily stuff, and the best thing you can do for both of you is help her out. It will make her feel good (and live longer) if she knows that she has the love and support of her friends and family, and you will feel better by taking action. All of us should live every day like it is our last.

Answer 26

Yes, I have experienced the same problem with people. I don't have any real answer, other than trying not to talk to much, try not to be too negative, try to offer a glimmer of hope within family and friends, and maybe offer to be of some assistance to the person while they are still alive. Like anyone else, they are alive now, today, so that's important because anybody can die any day you know, accident, in the cross fire of a bank robbery, accidental medical administration in a treatment. C'est vie. Hmmmmm

Answer 27

I was brought up going to funerals whether I actually knew the people are not. My family members didn't have children until very late in life so since their friends and family members were passing away as I was growing up, it help me to handle the idea of death and dying. I used to visit people as a child, that I still remember today, when they were close to the very end of their long life and they talked to me a lot; everyone sharing their life thoughts and point-of-views and many experiences. I cry and get up the next morning to continue my life like they did.

Answer 28

Just pray for your friend. What makes me mad is that people are dying because they can't get the proper medical care because they don't have insurance or money. Look at Magic Johnson who has HIV...... i heard that his medication cost $10,000 per month and he is as healthy as a horse. My dad has medical problems and he does have insurance but makes very little money and can hardly pay the co-pay for the 5 medications he is taking. Pray Pray Pray and Pray some more that a cure will be found for this awful disease and for cancer. I'm sorry about your friend and I wish you all this best in coping with this.

Answer 29

My friend Tim, who was married with five children got aids. I sat up all night many a night at the hospital.with him because his wife needed to be with there children and couldn't stay all the time.I t is hard time to go thru. just be there for her. and do not worry about catching it.The nurses all wore gloves. but I even gave him a few hugs, and had my hand on his head rubbing it cause it hurt him so much. you can only give and show concern and support and what feelings you have,He was a good friend.and a good husband and father.

Answer 30

Sorry to hear about your friend. Actually there is no way to cope other than ACCEPTANCE. Also you might want to take notes as you dont want to end up in the same predicament. We all have made mistakes, only some arent as lucky as others.



My mother has just been diagnosed with a liver disease and she doesnt have a good prognosis...Thats my bestfriend



Keep your head up, ask for guidance and put your best foot forward...



Hope this helped

Answer 31

First of all there is no "right way" to deal. I have lost 3 friends to since the 1990's 1 to breast cancer and 2 to AIDS, I still miss them. I was glad of the joy we shared but still have days I wish they were here to share like my wedding, the birth of my kids, etc. I have found support groups invaluable, they can share your sorrow, joy and help you with information to ease the powerless feeling we all have when a loved one is terminally ill. I did a quick search on "AIDS support Group" and found the following link: http://www.aarogya.com/SupportGroup/AIDS/index.asp, it has a lot of info. You can also look in the front of your phone book under mental health and there are usually a few free support groups listed there as well. I wish you well and hope you enjoy the time you have left with your friend. God Bless.

Answer 32

It is always hard to face the fact that someone you know and love is going to die.In May of this year I found out my Mother and Little sister both had cancer.So I had double sadness.I had not talked to my mom in four yrs. and my sister in a year.Thank God I got back in touch.My mother had an operation to have her cancer removed and so far is cancer free but,sadly I lost my 41 year old sister July 6,06.So my advice is although you are sad.Please try to spend as much time as possible with your friend.For you will think back on that time when she is gone.On Mothers day of this year my whole family got together.The first time in years.We had pictures taken of all of us together.I am so happy for that.I am still heart broken about my lose but,I know it would have been worse if I had not spent that last little bit of time I did with my sister.Warm Wishes to both you and your friend.

Anita B.

Answer 33

Any disease is horrible to learn about whether it be a friend or family member affected but dealing with a person who has AIDS is a little more harsh. I say that because so many people instantly judge them, thinking they were promiscuous, not knowing they could have been an innocent wife or husband or child who is affected by such a horrible disease. I just want to say God makes no mistakes, so please be there for your friend and always know that in death their is life and by knowing your friend has made you a better person.

Answer 34

Death and birth are about life, just different ends of path. I cope by realizing every living thing must eventually die. It's part of life's natural cycle and one that none of us can avoid. If a person is at the end of their life cycle here on earth, remember it's about them, not you. Treat them as you always have, as a friend. Let them lead the way on what they need, someone to listen, someone to make them laugh or whatever they need. Don't be afraid to let them talk to you about their feelings and their fears if they need to. Don't be shocked if they are angry because life is too short. It's too short if you live to be 100 or if you only make it to 20. Just be there for the person. Crumble later if you must, after they are gone. Today that person needs to lean on someone. You have choices and you can choose to walk with this person to the end, or you can choose to let someone else walk with them. It's not an easy situation to handle but try to remember that death is a natural part of livnig.

Answer 35

Its such a shame that she is going through it. I'm very sorry to hear that for yall. I have been told by a few friends and family that they have HIV/Aids, it isn't easy and its very sad. Honestly, The best way to deal with it is not to cry over spilt milk. Just deal with it and make the best of it. Its not an easy situation to deal with. It's going to take time and most importantly practice. Practice making the best of it whatever it may be ok. Be supportive to her. Good Luck.

Answer 36

I wanted to suggest a web site 'towardthelight.org' that was helpful to me. There are references to other resources on that site as well. I read numerous book on death & dying. One point I remember from the materials I read was the importance of 'staying in the moment' when talking with someone who is dying....the dying person doesn't care about plans for next year, dates bills are due, etc. You must be a good listener if your friend chose to disclose so much about her illness. It's also great you are sharing your friend's misfortune with others so that they might make better decisions in protecting themselves. Hang in there!

Answer 37

make sure that the person knows that you love them, http://www.mannatech.com get a DVD from manna-tech called "OUTSIDE THE BOX" BY JEFF ALLEN

drink water! , i suggest a change in diet, drink a lot of clean bottled water (my guess is that you drink cofee and soda all day, you want to take these things out of your diet for sure and smoking) include MINERALS (the sports one is flavored or else i think that there are others that are flavored) AND EFA dietary supplements from a company called American Longevity, phone#[phone] Boswell Road, chula vista, California 91914 also you should be careful about the amount of the mineral supplements do not exceed more then one tablespoon a day,also don't forget about vitamins, the vitamin product that i use is called E 7 (essential seven) the telephone number is 1(888) 737-7307 i would take only one half of one scoop a day . if you do some study about what exactly it is that all of these different vitamins and minerals PURPOSE INSIDE OR BODY'S is you will probably figure out that they can help to elevate ALMOST all symptoms of ill health,there is a audio tape about minerals called "dead doctors don't lie" call 1800-982-3189 to order.



Source(s):



(more and or other info) you can try some of nikkens magnetic sleep pads and blankets http://www.nikken.com http://www.mannatech.com get a DVD from manna-tech called "OUTSIDE THE BOX" BY JEFF ALLEN



Source(s):



my hope is that you are a saved person, the bible says god has loved you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 5:8) try to find yourself a church and also read the bible, go to http://www.bellevue.org and you can watch live sermons p.s. HOPE I HELPED

Answer 38

Do you know what she likes? Get some food and movies she likes. Visit once in awhile. Try to cheer her up. Something to pass the time maybe. My friend was recently considering a sexual relationship with a guy with aids. The guy partied too much and was only interested in fun and sex. Was getting some too.

Answer 39

They say that the best way to cope with someone close to you who's dying is to "follow" their own emotions and mimic them with your own. If your friend is upbeat, no sense in bringing her down. Mainly, she'll want to talk and you should be there to listen as much as she needs and offer your advice when asked for it. Usually people who're dying want to get a lot of things off their chest so it's up to a good listener to encourage through listening. She may also need some space to be able to reflect on her thoughts alone or to spend her time with other loved ones.



As for yourself, finding out that someone close to us is dying is a hard thing to accept. You'll go through those dreaded 5 stages of acceptance, talking to people may also help. Do not cry or express your sadness in front of your friend as she may feel pitied or get sadder than she may already be. There are many counseling services or even hotlines to call all over the country so it's just a matter of calling and reaching out for the help you need. Eventually, you'll come to accept it.



Good luck!

Answer 40

I had stage 4 cancer and survived unexpectedly, so I've been on the other side. Everyone dies sometime. But during the dying process, you are still alive. People who are dying are still alive and still enjoy life.



It has helped me cope with other people dying by remembering that they still enjoy life. I take them the things they've always enjoyed. I have conversations about inane things.



I remember when I went to my first chemo, I was surprised that people were fighting over the People magazine. I thought everyone would have their nose buried in the Bible. Nope. They still wanted to know the gossip.

Answer 41

It is hard and it is OK to cry let her know how you feel and ask what if anything can you do to help her in this her time of need. I have Hodgkin's disease and each day is a blessing I value everything in my life. Personally I look at life now as I should have my whole life. Each breath is a blessing.

Answer 42

Just consider yourself fortunate that you now have experienced the awful truth about having unprotected sex. You can't bring your friend back, but her death will have meant something to you. Her life, as awful as death is, will not have been in vain if you have learned this lesson from her. This, I am sure, is what she will have wanted from you, her friend. We all someday will have to face death...that is part of living. It's a shame that she was not notified by the infectious person who did this to her. I wish, as a teacher, I could drum this into every student's head as they reach the age of maturity, but I can't. Grieve, then let go missy.

Answer 43

ask her.

join her in a support group and find out and help out..

doing something positive is always a good way to cope.

if you or your friend got lemons you can still add little sugar and make lemonade..

nice people do get all diseases including aids.

so sorry.



and if you are sure its terminal a good book on death and dying is avail at the library or a good gift when given at the right time.

Answer 44

Im sorry about your friend and your sarrow.You gotta be there for her.Years has gone by in your friendship and there is nothing you can do to make up for those years but if she has 2 days left or 2 years left to live you can make those the best days or years of her life.A good friendship is healthy for the brain.Also get educated on aids and maybe join a aids group on how to educate others on aids that way you can help protect others from this horrible disease.and you can do it all in the name of your friend.

Answer 45

Well, that's one of the bummers of growing older. As time moves on we inevitably have to cope with a friend or two contracting a terminal illness.



I have known several starting with a high school buddy who died of brain cancer, another who got MS, and more recently a Tai-Chi instructor who died of lung cancer.



Perhaps it is because it is the most recent, but one of the most powerful lessons that Stan Rossi (my Tai-Chi instructor) taught me is that death is simply another part of the wholeness of our lives. The last time I saw him was only a few days before he died at a dinner to celebrate his life. As always, he carried with him his ever present infectious smile and zest for living.



So... don't despair. The time you shared together will remain a part of your life even after she is gone.

Answer 46

I'm sorry ... but I find it hard to believe that you had to do "research" in order to find out that having unprotected sex leads to AIDS.



If you sleep with anyone without protection, you are at risk. It is a hard (and sometimes fatal) lesson to learn.



AIDS is a terrible disease, but it is also the most preventable one on earth.



All you really can do is be there for your friend if she needs you.

Answer 47

I watched my grandmother and my mother die of disease. It's very hard, but you must be strong for your friend...there will be a lot of time to cry should she not pull through....right now she needs the comfort and support of a strong friend....(by the way, I also lost my husband.....but suddenly...he drowned. So at least you are aware of the disease and can take the time to be with your friend, little comfort, I know) but my prayers are with you both!

Answer 48

I know how you feel, hun. I feel so bad for you...Within the past two years I've lost my grandpa, whom I was really close to, to Alzheimer's and my grandma to stomach cancer. It can be really hard on you, but imagine how much harder it is for her. I really wish I could do something more for you, but all there is left is to hope in God. Say a prayer, and visit her to let her know you love her. Do all you can to make her happy, but remember that no one's gonna be here forever. There's a reason for everything, even if the reason you think things are happening for totally suck. Just remember that people, both here and in Heaven, are lookin' out for you, and for her, if she's still around to have you come back into contact. Good luck, hun, and everything will happen in one way or another.

Answer 49

Hiya! I am really sorry to hear that and I can feel your pain. Try to spend as much time with her as possible! Do not pitty her, try to get her mind off things and make the remaining time for her as pleasant and supportive as possible. As for you....it will take time for you to realize and to accept the fact. Talk to other friends about your feelings and get help and support from them. If you are a believer then talk to a priest or so! I really hope all the best for you and all the strength!

Answer 50

Fortunately I have not had to experience this. All you can do is pray for her and be there for her. Be supportive and positive. Most of all have fun with her. Help her to enjoy her time here and live life to its fullest. Help her to do things she always wanted to but, never had the courage to do. Go out and have fun and be crazy without being self-conscious or worrying what other people think. Just enjoy everyday you have with her.

Answer 51

Hard time for her as well as for you. Try to be a good friend and be there for her. You cant solve that, only accept. a very hard thing to to do, and quiet alright if you feel down and cry. But you might find you see live in a different way and appreciate every day you have and every day she has left.

Answer 52

I bet the guy that infected her was bi-sexual. After over 20 years of HIV running around, I have a hard time feeling sorry for anyone with AIDs from unprotected sex.

Answer 53

My girlfriend found out she had crest about 2 years ago. I was crushed to find out my best friend of 25 years was dying. HOWEVER we spend time together and i try to be with her as much as possible. Wheither she has 10 years or 10 months i want to be with her as much as possible.We really laugh alot as well. What else better than a child hood friend to laugh with. That itself leads to memories of a lifetime no matter how long that lifetime may be.

Answer 54

it is hard to deal with someone with a disease. my best friend had cervical cancer five years ago and i watched her melt away into nothing. she then died two years ago and i have learned that as long as you are there to help them and help them enjoy what life they have left it makes the dying process a lot easier. let her live her life to the fullest and let her last moments be memorable for you and her. don't give up on her and let her know you care. that is the best way.

Answer 55

I went through something like that. It was a rapid cancer that took a beloved friend named Stella from me. We only had a year from the time she found out. I made the most of the time we had and have always been grateful that I got the opportunity to be there for her, make her laugh, etc. I still miss her, actually.

Answer 56

I would spend time with her, quality time. You can't do anything to change her status, or the partner who infected her. What you can control is that you support her, be there for her and don't be scared away from her. Offer to attend support groups with her, openly discuss both of your feelings...Once she declines, simply being there will be enough. You should be able to have support through a local AIDS network. When she begins to fail, hospice program will offer her, her family and friends support and education.

Answer 57

I lost two family members to cancer recently. My faith, although it was shaken at first, kept me grounded and comforted. It's hard to see someone you love (or close to) face imminent death, but you have to understand that it is a lot harder for them. Love them and be there for them so they'll know they won't face it alone. The bottom line is do whatever you can, so that there'll be no regrets later.

Answer 58

My brother was just diagnosed with Leukemia. I cried. I visit him as much as he'll let me and try to keep a positive attitude. You let the person know how much you care and let them direct your actions toward them and their disease. Trust in God is the most important thing for you and them.

Answer 59

I have a disorder that is progressive and destroys muscle cells, and I think the best way to cope is to make the most of everyday and not pity yourself.

Answer 60

It is hard and heartbreaking- pray hard and be there if she wants you there- I know it is difficult= lost my mom to cancer and saw her wither and go down hill- is she on hospice services-if she has full blown AIDS she is probably eligible and they will do there best to keep her comfortable- I used to work for Vista Care Hospice- and the meds for comfort were covered- D

Answer 61

One day at a time. Just be there for her. There's a big difference between saying "let me know if I can help" and offering "let me shop/clean/cook for you". Does she need a ride somewhere? Is she getting out to cafes, or bookstores, or movies -anywhere she can forget for a litte while?

Answer 62

Ask her to be sure where she is going, before dying. Heaven and Hell are all real and eternal.





In the Beginning God created heavens and earth.

God gives you air to breathe and sunshine to enjoy.

God gives you water to drink and food to eat.

God gives you a wonderful body and sound mind, to live.

God loves you, and you are precious to Him.

Son of God died on the Cross to save us from condemnation.

Jesus’ love is boundless and everlasting.

We have the hope of Heaven through Jesus.

Life therefore has fantastic and glorious future!

(Digestion of above can even prevent depression and suicide attempt.)

Answer 63

I distance myself from casual aquaintances that I've known who had aids because as a rule they caught it through not caring when having sex. My brother died of Lung Cancer and that almost destroyed me watching someone waste away to nothing in less than 4 months. If he had aids I might have felt just as bad. Face the facts we're all going to die eventually from something.

Answer 64

By starting out the way you did which is to find out more info about the disease. Talking to them about it when they were comfortable talking about it. Laughing with them. Crying with them and by myself. Not letting them see negative emotions I may be having about things like it is not fair they are dying.



Making sure that I am available to them as then needed me. Sometimes to take meals. Sometimes to go with them to appts. Sometimes to just be there. Pray



If I can't physically be there because we live in different towns, then I send cards and call.



My heart goes out to your friend and you.

Answer 65

Wow, that is a tough one. But you should tell as many people about this experience as possible, to make people realize that HIV/AIDS is still a HUGE problem--people should always practice safer sex using condoms.

Answer 66

my father passed away from cancer 11 years ago, i didn't handle it very well when i found out. he knew 2 years before hand, but did not tell us until the end. i was mad , very mad. when he signed a dnr. i lost it . my dad told me he did it because he did not want our pity. i told him it's not pity it's love. if i could take it away and put it on my self i would. he died the next morning. six years ago i came to terms with him, and his reasons why he did it. i am not mad anymore but just wish i could tell him I'm sorry. be a friend to her ,pray for her until you find her. god bless you forever.

Answer 67

Pray for her body and spirit. As to how she caught it, Romans 1: 18-32.

Answer 68

Just carry on being a friend. Treat her as a normal person, do the things you would normally do. We are all dying to some extent, so do what you do best. chat, dance, drink, complain, whatever. she is still the same person.



Brian.

Answer 69

There is no easy way to cope. I have had to watch and assist 3 family members while they died of terminal diseases. None of them had Aids but it is still painful. All that you can do is remember the best times and make as many memories with your friend as you can while she is still here to make memories with.

Answer 70

Yes, but is she in full blown AIDs or is just infected with HIV? Big difference. She can live a long time (20-25 years) with HIV if she takes her medication and her viral load stays low. However...if she did not treat the HIV for a long time, she may be in AIDs--which means she won't live long.



How to cope? If this has upset you deeply, then why don't you consider helping AIDs patients? Give your time to the Aids Foundation. http://www.aids.org/

Answer 71

When a friend of mine contracted HIV and later AIDS, I tried to keep how upset I was to myself. Instead, I focused on being helpful and being there when he needed a favor or a ride or stuff.

Answer 72

you've had a lot of great advice. i echo many sentiments shared with you. i too have a friend who is dying, however, it is from terminal cancer - she has 1 to 3 years. we, her friends, have circled around her assuring her that she is loved. we help her with simple things like cooking and cleaning. we do regular activities like going to dinner and seeing a movie. if she wants to giggle, we giggle. if she wants to cry, we cry. one of the greater aspects is that we are helping her to leave her legacy for her daughter through scrapbooking and video messages.



so for you, i would say you are on the right track:

1. educate yourself so you know what she is talking to you about

2. be there with her

3. help her out with basics of life to lighten her burden

4. let her lead the mood

5. help her leave her legacy

6. volunteer your time to AIDS

Answer 73

i hated my stepfather for all of his life. but on the day he died from cancer i felt like it was my fault. i really miss him now. and it took me from the day he died {april 4 2000} until that same day in 2003 to get over the loss. but i do remember the very seldom but very important good times i had with him. i would rather have him back than to meet my real dad.



my real dad is a ******' deadbeat shithead

Answer 74

Both you and your friend have to remember that the history of yesterday cannot be changed, the history of tomorrow is not known so all that matters is what you are given today. Make the most of what you have today.

Answer 75

Sorry to hear that, my dad died from liver disease, two years ago and my mom from heart disease, a year ago... I needed lots of family around, but we just imploded... luckily my husband was around, I just needed to talk and be reassured... also do fun things like Yahoo Answers and blow off steam... take care, lots of love.

Answer 76

it is very hard to know a friend is dying and very painful...at my age i am seeing it now more than other... it shakes me and scares me. i do attempt to put feelings aside so i can be supportive to my friend...i spend more time with them, call often, talk about old times, and have many soul searching talks with them, i try as best as i can to make them smile a little and nurture them....then after they pass on, i get the blues for quite awhile but know in my heart that i made it a little easier and had quality time with my dear friend....God bless you and your friend.....

Answer 77

It's never easy & I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

All you can do is be there for her, help her get through

her pain & listen when she needs some one to talk to.



I happen to believe in prayer & if you do too then

pray for her, that God takes away her pain & comforts

her while she is still here on Earth.



take care

Answer 78

i know its hard to even think about having a good friend pass but you gotta think positive... shes gunna be in a better place not suffering.... i no people say think of the good times but when you do that you want to cry even more... just be there for her and pray.... you will never forget but in time it wont be so hard on you anymore. im 14 and ive had so people i love die and for a long time i tryed to hold it inside but..... you gotta cry....but always think about how happy they are now... not being sick and everything....... i pray for you and your friend :( but remeber (nothing last forever)

Answer 79

I avoid them. Especially if it's contagious. For the most part I'm pretty callous unless I care about someone. If I haven't had anything to do with her for years, I'm not going to start now just because she's sick.

I suppose you could feel somewhat bad but for the most part it's really not your problem or your fault. Just keep on living your life - it's too short to worry about stuff you can't control...

Answer 80

I had a hard time losing my mom. She died of COPD. Never smoke a day in her life. All second hand smoke. you need to be strong for your friend. Just be there for her when she needs to talk or cry.

Answer 81

You know, all you can do is be there for this person, then again, you don't even have to do that. It may seem wrong but, it is due to choices she made in life. If you can't handle seeing it then you sholdnt feel obligated. There are something in life that we have to see, others, wellthose are our choices to view....free will, God's greatest gift.

Answer 82

Spend all your time with them ( I did) if she needs anything be there for her, if she wants to talk listen to her , if she wants to listen to music be there, learn all you can about AIDS

I can relate with you My uncle died of the same thing (we were close )

Answer 83

it's very difficult emotionally-we really do take life for granted. the best you can do is try to be supportive and helpful whenever you can. keep in touch with her so she won't feel alone in this--is her partner around or someone with her? just be her friend....

Answer 84

The best thing to do is to make your friend's time here a good one. Spend time with her and don't let her die alone. Remeber she's the one with AIDS, so she has more to cope with.

Answer 85

I had the experience of seeing a son pass away with Cancer. and also a cousin. But my answer to you is. Does she have affairs to settle. I helped the cousin with his will.and gave him ease about where his assets would go.

Answer 86

lost my sister -in -law to lung disease she was 16 and suffered for 5 years with 2 lung transplants and lots of pain and suffering.

was awful..lots of prayers .....all you can do is listen and enjoy the time you have with her !

Answer 87

Yeah...I came to florida to meet my dad. He asked me to stay...he had only 3 yrs to live. He needed my daughter and I to stay...he had no family around and did not want to leave this world alone. He has treated me horribly these last 12yrs. (alcoholism) I wish I never stayed. Think he lied?

Answer 88

There are books & support groups who might help you. She may have her own group through a hospice organization who can put you in touch with someone. I lost my mother to breast cancer, my first husband to lung cancer & several friends to heart attacks.

Answer 89

Mostly everyone gave good advice, but what I can add from experience is dont say 'everything happens for a reason' because it really pissed me off.

Answer 90

My uncle died from a disease I didn't know he had until he died but there was nothing I can do it was to late so all I did was be very careful pray get check ups all the time and stick with one man and get him checked along with me.

Answer 91

Lost mum to cancer we just tried to make her time as enjoyable as we could and she could.

Be prepared for some horrbile memories to come but try to make as many good ones now as you can.

Answer 92

Im sorry. My mom had bacterial meninjitus when i was 13. I had to grow up a little faster, i was severly depressed. Im kinda emotionless, it sucks.

Answer 93

the most you can do for someone at this stage of their life is to let them know that you care by simply being there for them until....many people tend to back away due to some stage of fear.....this is when they need family and friends.....they have things to say and do as should we to them

extend your ear to them - they may need to talk about how they are feeling or what they may wish in the end

pray for them - two things are sure - death and eternity - as oppportunity allows, talk with them about this

extend yourself to their family as well - as needed



but for the grace of God - this could be any of us!

Answer 94

I don't know about friends, but my little brother died on aids. He never officially told me untill weeks before he died. It was obvious to us, we knew already. I think he didn't want to tell me because he didn't want me to hurt.



Of course when he died 15 years ago, I never got over it.



It's a very very sad path, but, what she needs NOW is company, help, and lots of love and more company.

Answer 95

Think about the good times you've had together, be strong and talk about anything but the infliction...

Answer 96

there was this one guy I hated who was dying of cancer and I just laughed...

Ha-haha-haha-ha? It's not as funny as it used to be

Answer 97

God's plan is always correct. If it isn't her time, and if you believe and have faith in the Lord, then she just won't die. You have to stand strong through your prayer and He will always guide you through.

Answer 98

Yes I have. A friend of mine died of cancer. The only help I could give her was prayer.

Answer 99

Don't stress out about it. Learn from her mistake. If you continue to be bothered emotionally about your friend, seek advice from a pastor, friend, or counselor.

Answer 100

enjoy your time with her for now cause it would not do either of you any good to dwell on it. good luck and always remember to live life like you were dying.

Answer 101

my best friend told me that she has leukemia and you can die from that if it is the severe type my friend doesnt have the severe type but i cry when she talks about it cause i really dont want to lose her

Answer 102

By leaning on the Lord.

Answer 103

Help her live it up as best she can! When she passes you will know you did the best you could to help her enjoy the rest of her life. Good luck!

Answer 104

Stay focused on each day and try to not look ahead to their unfortunate early departure. There is not a whole lot more you can do but be positive for her.

Answer 105

well i listen to So Many Things by city high and cried

then i prayed to God it made me feel better. it is really hard.

Answer 106

I know what this is like, I witness the suffering that my parents went through before they died, and it was agonizing for me to bear.

Answer 107

somebody i worked with died this year of cancer and she got real bad at the end.u have be strong for them and help them thru it as best u can.

Answer 108

Try to be there as a friend. Try to be supportive and positive.

Sorry for you and her - it is hard.

Answer 109

Try not to treat her as if she is already gone. Put yourself in her shoes, how would you want others to treat you?

Answer 110

spend all your time with them, spend the last months with them the best just be there for them and do anything u can to make them happy and dont freak out because the person will freak out just be calm

Answer 111

Ten Points.

Answer 112

be there to listen but also learn from her ,no unprotected sex

Answer 113

give all the love & support she needs

Answer 114

You suck it up, you don't have time to be sad right now. My girlfriend is dying from breast cancer and I talk to her and see her as much as I possibly can because I want as many memories of her I can get. Your friend is going to need someone to be with her now, someone who is not afraid of her illness, someone she can talk and cry to, someone she can trust. You can mourn and cry for yourself after she is gone but right now she needs you so get going girlfriend.....

Answer 115

just enjoy the rest of the time you have with her not dewell on the disease or the lost of the friend u need to enjoy life dont be in tears with her help her enjoy the rest of her life to the fullest.

Answer 116

I cope by getting on my knees, throwing both hands in the air, looking up into the sky, and yelling NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 117

most of us do cry...I had a friend who died of cancer 16 yrs ago.

Answer 118

I so agree with Walter (first answer). Be there for her, an pray.

Answer 119

Pray for her and pray for yourself too.

Answer 120

That's just horrible. What can you do but be a good friend for her now?

Answer 121

I agree 100% with what Walter E said. Great advice Walter! *It does work*

A.S.A.P. (Always Say A Prayer)

Answer 122

Yes and I will pray for her..

Answer 123

prayer... anything is possible with God's help

Answer 124

I am so sorry to hear..alls you can do is be there for her.

Answer 125

ohhhh im so sorry for your friend

Answer 126

ofcourse pray and be with her but most of all-LEARN FROM HER MISTAKE!

Answer 127

So sad!

Answer 128

yes - and I am still alive -

Answer 129

No idea.

Answer 130

All you can do is be there for her when she needs you

Answer 131

i freaked out so bad i almost had a heart a tak..................

Answer 132

i never had that happened yet? i would just them as much help with anything they needed as possible.

Answer 133

talk to close friends and family

Answer 134

I pray for the person...

Answer 135

God.

Answer 136

Yes, it is a drag. Everyone that lives dies

Answer 137

My faith in God.